Day out at Peterboro Museum - Chris Porsz Exhibition..!

Hi Everyone. Welcome to my Life Story!!.

Every now and then something happens, or I AM TALKING TO FAMILY OR A FRIEND - AND I get the urge to write down certain things about my life.

Often I find that I have no memory, or as I found out, speaking to a long time friend (BJ) on messenger the other night and some comments made just caused a crack in the vacuum of emptiness of my mind that I live with today, and a snippet will escape. (One of the main reasons I started this website!)

It will be all over the place, I just do not know how will work, but I am sure if Lynne, family n friends see this they may be able to help me sort it out into some sort of order if there is one!.

Where as I thought I had been abandoned by most of my friends, I found out with a chat on Sat night,

that it turns out people do not know "what to say"

for me it's easy - Just say it to me.

I may go quiet, I will always reply, often it just takes a while for me to process things and it's far better than feeling those you thought were friends have abandoned you just when you need there few words the most.

So Lets see how things pan out, in no order as that's not how it works anymore. ....

Back in 2017 I was diagnosed with Parkinson's, which we promptly hid from everyone.
Rick Hulse did see the shakes, at NABD national whilst I was Djing,
but apart from a glance nothing was really said.

I just carried on and then COVID hit us, which now I know destroyed me totally. and what I am today is from that. We believe if COVID did not happen, then I would still be the person that everyone knows. On the other hand if COVID did not happen, I would not have had a chance to see a specialist, when I was rushed into Peterboro Hospital back in November 2021.

and after 20 odd years of being told what was wrong with me, within 10 mins of looking at me, a simple test on my left eye with some water, we would not have found out what is actually wrong with me!!! I will have to have a chat with Lynne as I have forgotten the name and symptoms, all I can vaguely remember it has mutlipul symptoms, that fitted with everything that was wrong with me.

The Parkinson's Diagnosis we are not sure whats happening as many of the symptoms I have are the same as early parkinson's..................

So with the other health issues I have, we now have a fighting chance of hopefully holding back or at least delaying the process for a while.  

Was talking to BJ on messenger on Saturday night.

Unusually for him he didn't reply to my invite for the 1st October. I just asked "am I in Coventry with you like the rest of my friends!"

or something close! and he replied.
I am not gonna go into the whole of the conversation, but a few comments caused a reaction with a crack in my vacant mind, and something happened.

Unfortunately within a very short time the comments had disappeared again, but looking back at that chat just now, some of them bits came back, so trying to get them down quickly in the hope in time they will help me out.

The Disco and Light show.
As of a few months back, we have had to accept that I can no longer carrying on, in fact now this choice has been made. 

I just did not realise just how much I was relying on Ginger Steve, Ash, Lynne, Michael, Gary Stewart and the many other people who helped us keep going for the last years.

When this finally sank into my brain, it upset me greatly, but at the same time gave me the courage to say I have no choice but to retire.

Not everyone has been informed of this yet, as they either won't answer the phone when I ring or reply to messages sent.

I am not yet at total peace over this, as for all my life, when one thing, I was doing/involved with another would already be be started and would take over, so leading to a smooth life as the changes happened.

I thought going back (for the 1st time in my life) and re-starting an old hobby of mine with model railways, but that's just not gonna be enough) will probably help at home, along with other hobbies n projects.

But is not gonna help with going out n meeting people.

No that I can at the moment, as too many people around me even if they are just walking by and I just break down.

The Transit - one minute I am gonna clean it out n sell it, as we cannot really afford it and we know I will have my licence taken away in the next few years. 

Then we think about going out to see places, the bed is still in the back, we now have a 3x3 marquee to give us more space, but there is one important issue!

It's very hard for me to drive at all, since 2019 till today the van has done around 600 miles, most of that to various hospitals.

Vincent, Altho running (not test ridden since I hopefully repaired the issue) is currently waiting for me to feel well enough to ride and take it in to have some work done on the carbs and stop it flooding the left barrel when its been stood for more than a few days, parts are here)  - will be dealt with in his own album, so will not feature here 

CBRTIM - will be dealt with in his own album, so will not feature here  Some of the above may disappear in time and will be added to relevant sections.

That's all for today, as nothing else springs to mind.